Gentlemen Prefer Blonds
by temlim
Summary: Mission or no mission, it was absolutely unacceptable for Naruto to leave him alone in a dirty, crowded bar while going off to seduce the enemy... shounen-ai of the SasuNaru variety
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I have no legal rights to any of the Naruto characters or settings. Just for fun, no profit involved. Sadly...

**Warnings:** Yes, this is **Shounen-ai** meaning **boyxboy love** of the **sasu/naru** variety. Probably will not be anything explicit.

**Rating: T** for language, slight violence, and non-graphic adult situations. If you think I should up it, please let me know.

**A/N:** I started writing this somewhere during all those filler episodes, lost interest, then decided to pick it up again a little while back. It's set in the Naruto universe, but goes AU from the fight at the Valley of the End. It probably will not be a very long story. Sorry I couldn't think of a better title! As always, constructive criticism is welcomed and appreciated. It's been awhile since I last wrote fanfiction, so hope this isn't too obviously rusty... Also, no beta, so I apologize for any errors.

* * *

**Gentlemen Prefer Blonds**

**Chapter One**

"He's hardly even listening to me!" Sakura's voice, despite the distorting effect of the wire it was transmitted through, was clearly frustrated. "I don't know what to do. He's scanning the room while I talk. He hardly even batted an eyelash when I came over here."

"It's okay, Sakura." Kakashi's voice was also somewhat tinny. "We've got time. If this doesn't work out, we can just try out something else tomorrow."

"Where is he now?" Sasuke interjected.

"He went to the bar to get another drink," answered Sakura. "He's been gone about five minutes." Her tone was dry when she continued, "I don't think he's in any rush to get back here."

Sasuke looked across the table to Naruto. Although the bar they were in was only dimly lit, his teammate's blond hair was as bright as ever. "Do you see him?" he asked.

Naruto shook his head. From where he was seated, he could clearly see the small, round table at which Sakura had accosted their current target. She was sitting there alone, a very large bag on the stool next to her, but he hadn't yet spotted the target at the bar. Maybe he'd gone to the men's room or something.

"I don't know, this asshole didn't even try and look down my shirt," Sakura continued, sounding affronted. "Maybe we should get Ino in here. Her seduction skills were always top of the class. And lots of guys prefer blondes anyways."

Barely paying attention as Kakashi attempted to reassure Sakura, Naruto subtly shifted his head from side to side. He didn't see how any normal male could object to Sakura's outfit. He himself had certainly tried to look down her top when the team first met up for the mission. The jeans she was wearing looked like they were practically molded to her body, and the black tank was tight enough, and low-cut enough, to display the girl inside it to her best advantage.

And yet there was at least one male in the room who seemed totally oblivious. Well, maybe two, Naruto decided. Sasuke hadn't seemed all that impressed either, but he assumed that was because his rival was a cold-blooded bastard. Their target, on the other hand, was slightly more inexplicable.

The man they were after was a second-rate nin from the Village of Hidden Grass. He had stopped in Konoha yesterday and was there just long enough to steal some sort of clan scroll from the Inuzukas. Tsunade had not told them what information the scroll contained, just told them to return it, posthaste. Adding that she didn't think it would be very hard, since the nin had been sloppy enough to leave his scent all over the compound. They had successfully tracked him to the next town over, where he seemed to be enjoying a leisurely day or two off. Naruto frowned in irritation. The man was clearly barely competent, and how he had managed to even break into the Inuzukas without being caught was beyond him. Kiba had just turned slightly red and refused to answer when he asked him point blank.

As long as the scroll was unopened, they didn't want to kill the nin. Although he had perpetrated the first offense, lethal retaliation might be…diplomatically problematic. Tsunade had told him that if he wanted to be Hokage, he was going to have to learn that killing people was not the solution for everything. Hence the seduction techniques. Or failed seduction techniques. He sighed and looked away from Sakura.

He wished that Kiba had come with them on the retrieval mission, instead of Sasuke. Unfortunately, he was too clearly a member of the Inuzuka clan, and they didn't want to alert the target that they were on to him.

"Ah. There he is," Naruto's voice was low, but Sasuke could see the focus in his teammate's remarkably blue eyes.

"What's he doing?" Sasuke's back was to the bar, so he could only watch the room as it was reflected in Naruto's facial expressions. After several reconnaissance missions, the team had decided that this was best. Naruto had to face the action or he would get squirmy, but at the same time he needed someone to block the room from watching him; when he got excited his face was still too easy to read. Especially for a ninja. Although Sasuke didn't like to have his back to the room, he considered his other senses to be sufficiently alert enough to keep him aware of any significant changes in the atmosphere of the room behind him.

"Talking with the bartender." Naruto sipped from the water sitting in front of him, his eyes fixed on the dark-haired shinobi currently ordering sake. Suddenly the grass nin spun around, his eyes locking on Naruto's.

"Oh shit," Naruto cursed, "he caught me."

The grass nin crooked a finger at the teenager, and Naruto blanched slightly.

"What's going on?" hissed Sasuke.

"He's beckoning to me. Dammit."

"You'd better go, Naruto," Kakashi's voice warned over the wire. "Try not to blow our cover."

"I know." Naruto stood from his seat and made his way over to the bar, weaving carefully around half-full tables and pushed-out chairs. Alone at the table, Sasuke shifted in his seat so that he could watch the boy at the bar. Briefly he wished that the place was better lit. It was hard to see details from where he was sitting. Sakura, too, was quiet, sipping on her drink as she watched Naruto approach their target.

As Naruto neared the bar, he could feel himself sweating. Rookie mistake, he berated himself. How could he have let himself be caught staring like that? He was supposed to have learned some subtlety in the five years since he had graduated from the Academy. Nervously, he raised his eyes to the face of the man lounging against the bar.

"Some sake for my friend here," the other shinobi said to the bartender. As the man turned to get Naruto's drink, Naruto appraised the target. Taller than himself by at least a couple of inches. Probably near Kakashi in height. Trim, like most shinobi, long straight nose, a thinnish mouth. Dark hair framed an oval face, and hazel eyes were looking at him, their expression piercing. Well, at least now he was sure that this was the right target. The man in front of him fit the description in the mission perfectly. He was pretty sure that Sakura would have olfactory confirmation by then anyhow. In any case, even his civilian clothing couldn't hide the fact that the man in front of him moved like a ninja.

The mouth quirked up slightly at the corners. "See something you like?" he teased, leaning closer to Naruto.

"Wh-What?" Naruto hadn't been expecting that. He had been sure that the other man had marked them as ninja.

"You've been staring at me all night, gorgeous," answered the other man. "I was starting to think you were never going to come over." He rested fingertips lightly on the shorter man's wrist, than ran them up to the shoulder and back down again, an action that caused the blond in front of him to look rather flustered.

"Well," said Sakura over the wire, "No wonder he wasn't interested in me."

Naruto tried to collect his wits, made even more difficult by the voices in his ear.

At their table, Sasuke straightened. He couldn't believe his ears. That man, _the target_¸ was hitting on his blasted teammate. He squinted a little, trying to see through the gloom; although he couldn't see Naruto, he knew the exact face that went with that stuttered "what." His eyes would've widened to an impossible extent, and his head would be canted slightly to the left. In fact, Sasuke knew Naruto's tones and expressions surprisingly well. Surprisingly thoroughly. He told himself that it was natural for a sharingan-user to memorize all his teammate's expressions, and was careful never to ask himself if he had memorized the expressions of everyone on his team, or just of one knuckleheaded blond.

He craned his neck a little, wishing he could see better. The slight haze of smoke in the air was distorting his view, and he needed to switch seats if he wanted to watch the bar without straining his neck looking over his own shoulder.

"Your friend's looking over here," the Grass nin murmured to Naruto, using the opportunity to advance slightly into the blonds' personal space. "Think he minds?"

"Huh? Oh." Naruto glanced over his shoulder at Sasuke, and nearly had to fight back a snicker at what he saw. The Uchiha was currently turned half around in his seat, his eyes, though hard to see from the bar, were clearly fixed on Naruto and the Grass nin.

"Nah. He's fine," Naruto continued, laying subtle emphasis on his next words. "He doesn't care. He'll probably _turn around_ any minute now and _go_ _hit on some girl_ or something." He lifted a hand and waved idly at the boy now sitting alone at their table.

Back at the table, Sasuke frowned. Hit on some girl? What exactly was Naruto trying to tell him?

"I guess he does prefer blonds, after all," came Sakura's voice.

Oh. Sasuke got up and walked over to her table. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Kakashi doing the same. Good. If they timed it properly, they could make it look like a casual meeting. Two guys attempting to hit on one lone girl at the same time.

Back at the bar, Naruto allowed a faint smile to cross his face. Now his team was gathered together, and he didn't have to worry about Sasuke sitting alone at the table like some weirdo, waiting for him. It gave him more time to work with.

At the table, Kakashi grinned at his two subordinates, and then switched off the mike he was wearing, although leaving the earpiece on so that they could still hear what was happening at the bar, motioning to the other two to do the same. No need for them to broadcast everything they were saying to the blond; it would only distract him. They still needed to monitor his conversation though.

"Looks like it'll be okay," he said casually. "Naruto's a pro at this sort of thing."

"What do you mean?" asked Sakura. "A pro?"

"Well," Kakashi said, "he _has_ been seducing men since he was twelve years old." He nearly laughed aloud at the sight of the faces that greeted that statement, his one visible eye curving into a happy arc.

The Uchiha, always first to recover, got it first. "You mean…Sexy-no-jutsu?"

Kakashi nodded.

"Oh," said Sakura, and then thought of another objection, "but that's as a girl. Does it…I mean…when he's a guy?" Her voice trailed off uncertainly.

"Watch," said Kakashi, gesturing towards the bar. The bartender had just set another small jar of sake in front of their target.

With a smile, the man tipped the contents into a dish, then handed it to the blond, using the opportunity to step close to him. If he got any closer, he was going to step on the blonds' toes. "Here," he said, smiling into wide blue eyes, one hand offering the beverage, the other reaching forward to lightly caress Naruto's cheek.

"Boy, he sure comes on strong," commented Sakura. "And here I thought he was shy." Sasuke gritted his teeth. For some reason, he was having the urge to go and enforce some personal boundaries between Naruto and the Grass nin. The blond hadn't rejected the caress at all, instead leaning into the other man's touch and smiling at him with an expression that, on any other face, Sasuke would have classified as shy. He tried not to growl.

"Besides," continued Kakashi, "how many times has he gotten Neji to take him out for ramen this week?"

Sakura's jaw dropped. "What?!" she exclaimed. "You mean he's seducing _Neji_ for ramen?!" She giggled at the thought of yet another Hyuuga falling victim to the blonds' apparently irresistible charms. Maybe liking Naruto was genetic, like byakugan or something. "What else has been going on while I've been training with Tsunade?"

For the past several years, Tsunade had been mentoring Sakura in the arts of the medic nin. Her training had severely reduced the amount of time that she had spent with the rest of team seven, but every now and then old team seven would reassemble to do missions like their current one.

"Well, I don't think that either of them is aware that that's what he's doing," Kakashi answered, "but it's pretty entertaining anyways. Who knew he'd be so good at handling the Hyuuga?"

This was so much fun. Kakashi could practically feel the waves of shock roll off the dark haired ninja sitting next to him as he caught the thinly veiled innuendo. He got the impression that the Uchiha had not cared to look too deeply into Naruto's increasing friendliness with the village's other number one rookie.

As Sakura answered, Sasuke stopped listening; he was too busy counting. He knew that he had seen the blond wheedle ramen out of the Hyuuga three times that week already, and it was only Thursday. And it had come to a total of, let's see, he paused to reflect, seven bowls, not that he was counting. Dammit.

At the bar, and completely unaware of all the revelations that Kakashi was currently seeing fit to divulge to his old teammates, Naruto downed the sake, tilting his head back. The Grass nin's hungry eyes fastened on the expanse of throat offered to him, until Naruto set down the small dish.

"Thanks," he said, licking his lips. "I was thirsty." His smile was open and candid.

"Indeed," said the Grass nin, his eyes now firmly fixed on the mouth of the blond. "Would you like another?"

"Hmm," Naruto paused to think, "maybe something a little more…exciting?" There was a sudden husky quality to his voice. The target just raised a brow.

"Whatever you want."

"How about a martini?"

The target ninja just nodded, and signaled to the bartender.

Back at the table, Kakashi chuckled some more. "That was a good choice."

Sasuke frowned. "What's his tolerance level?" he questioned.

"I'm sure he'll be fine," said Sakura, the pink-haired girl's eyes never leaving the sight of her teammate, of Naruto of all things, busily seducing an enemy nin. She would never have thought he'd be good at this sort of thing. Naruto was _never_ subtle. Although, she supposed, in seduction, it didn't pay to be too subtle. The whole point, after all, was to catch the eye. And Naruto had always known how to be eye-catching. She just didn't know he knew to be eye-catching in that particular _way_.

But he had just licked his lips while holding the gaze of the target in a way that was highly suggestive, and now he was breaking the gaze to tilt his head and look up from beneath his eyelashes, another classic move. Geez, it was almost like he had been listening in on the seduction lectures that she and the other kunoichi had had to go to when they were just learning to be ninjas.

"I never knew he could be so…so…" Sakura trailed off, again. Naruto, true to his nickname, had managed to surprise her again. After their years of working together, she had thought she knew everything there was to know about her blond-haired teammate. Okay, she admitted that she didn't know him quite as well as she knew Sasuke, but it was hard to garner the sort of detail that her hormonal, obsessed, and thank god much younger self had learned.

Not that she wasn't still hormonal and obsessed, but she also wasn't stupid. Sasuke had yet to take her up on any of the ludricusouly-suggestive-her-mother-would've-dropped-dead-if-she'd-heard-them hints she'd given him over the years. She was starting to think it was time to look elsewhere. After all, a shinobi's life was uncertain, and, hot as Sasuke was, she didn't particularly want to die a virgin.

Besides, if Sasuke kept frowning the way he was at the moment, his forehead was going to be hopelessly wrinkled by the time they were twenty-five.

Kakashi caught her eye. "He's just barely getting started," he told her. His only visible eye closed, and she wondered if he had just winked at her. With the bandanna tilted over his other eye in lieu of his usual forehead protector, it was impossible to tell. "Watch this."

Sakura turned her eyes back to the bar. While she had been lost in her thoughts, apparently Naruto's martini had arrived. She watched wide-eyed as the boy plucked the toothpick out of it, examined the olive, then twirled the tip of his tongue around it and popped it into his mouth. A second later he pulled it out, caught it with his teeth and sucked it off the stick. Sakura heard a strangled noise across from her, and looked over to see an expression of apoplectic shock on Sasuke's face. He looked like he was going to pop a vein. She knew, just knew, that Kakashi was sporting a light blush, even though the mask he was wearing should've hidden it from her view. She herself had suddenly decided that the bar was getting a little too hot.

And their target looked like he had died and gone to heaven. He was happily watching the blond in front of him, his own drink forgotten. He reached out a hand and rested it on Naruto's hip, pulling the other man slightly towards him.

"See," said Kakashi, chuckling happily. "What hot-blooded man wouldn't want that?"

"Well," said Sakura, "Maybe a straight one?" Although, she was starting to feel a little less certain, since a glance around the bar showed her that she and her table weren't the only ones who were currently looking at the couple at the bar.

"Oh, Sakura, Sakura," Kakashi shook his head at her, "you're still so young. When you get as old as I am, you'll learn that very few people are one hundred percent straight or gay or any label you want. Most of humanity is out for anything it can get."

"Are we actually going to learn any information this way?" Sasuke suddenly demanded, breaking into their conversation. "Or are we just going to sit here and watch Naruto be molested for the rest of the evening?"

Kakashi shot his student a glance. "Give him time, Sasuke," he said, his glance lingering pointedly on Sasuke's hands, which at some point had gripped the edge of the table so hard that his knuckles were white.

Sasuke grunted and tried consciously to relax his grip. He had decided that this was officially his least-favorite mission of the week. Hell maybe even month. He hated seduction missions. They always took so much damn time. He sighed, and fixed his eyes on his blond teammate.

It was funny, Sasuke had always assumed that he knew Naruto better than anyone else, just as Naruto knew him better than anyone else. Now he was discovering a whole other side to the blond, a side that he'd had no idea even existed. Naruto was crafty, he'd always known that; countless missions had been successful due to the other's last-minute strategizing. But apparently Naruto could also be subtle. And delicate. And, his mind whispered, very, very seductive. Even from a distance of over thirty feet.

Sasuke groaned and propped his head on his hands, trying to avoid looking over at where Naruto was. It was going to be a long, long evening, and there was nothing he could do about it. Short of, you know, actually walking up to the Grass nin, ripping off the hand that was _still _resting on his rival's hip, punching him square in the face, tossing him out of the bar, and beating him until he agreed to take them to wherever he had stashed that scroll. He smiled at the thought.

Across the table, Sakura and Kakashi exchanged glances at the very, very scary expression that had suddenly crossed Sasuke's face, before deciding that they probably didn't want to know. They both settled more firmly into their seats.

"Oh I'm sure I could…keep up," as Naruto's voice purred seductively over the wire, Sasuke realized that he had lost track of the conversation. "I've always had _amazing s_tamina..."

"Is that so…"

Sasuke decided that he was glad that he had temporarily lost the thread of the conversation. Bad enough that it seemed like the newly acquired husky quality of his best friend's voice was starting to echo in his mind in a way that he didn't want to think about. Worse, he realized, that he really didn't want to listen to that voice being used on somebody else. Across the table, he could see Kakashi and Sakura beginning a critique of Naruto's techniques.

* * *

They stayed at the bar an hour longer, before leaving to make the return to Konoha. While within a reasonable distance, it still took them nearly two more hours of tree-jumping before they were back in their own village. 

"He was the right guy, right Sakura?" had been practically the first thing Naruto had said once they were safely travelling through the trees.

"Yep," she'd replied, holding up the uncharacteristically large bag she'd been holding all evening. "Kuro-chan says it's definitely the right smell." From inside the bag, a small yip sounded in what was unmistakably agreement and a small black dog poked its nose out of the bag in order to nod enthusiastically. The puppy was one of the Inuzuka's and had been lent to them for the purpose of identification.

"Good," the blond teen replied. "I'd hate to have had to listen to him all that time, and then it turn out he was the wrong one. He fit the description though, so I was pretty sure. Plus he said he was in town on business for a couple days, and that he is waiting to meet his partner."

"Ah," said Kakashi, "That'll be the person he's selling the scroll to, then. Good, that gives us," he paused, and his eye twinkled merrily at Naruto, "or should I say _you_ plenty of time to work. By which I mean work it." His mask twitched, glee evident in his voice.

Naruto just sighed. He certainly had made a hit with the target, even managing to worm a date out of him for the following evening. In the meantime, Sasuke decided his frustration was due to the fact that they would have to waste yet another day on this pitiful excuse for a mission. He glared at his teammate and told him as much.

"Whatever, you bastard," Naruto told him, "If things are going too slow for you, _you_ seduce him."

Sasuke shut up, dark eyes noting that Naruto looked slightly tired. Not that the other ninja would ever admit it, of course, but the blue of his eyes was slightly dimmer than usual, the lids drooping just a fraction lower, giving him away.

"I thought you did an excellent job," said Kakashi, voice sounding as if he were smiling.

"Thanks," said Naruto drily, "I suppose you would know best." Kakashi just beamed back at him. He turned to see Sakura. As soon as he caught her eye, she blushed faintly.

"Ehm," she laughed nervously, "I'll see you guys tomorrow evening!" With that, she walked off, moonlight glinting off of pink hair. She had to get home; she was dead tired.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I have no legal rights to the Naruto characters or settings. This is for fun, no profit involved. Sadly...

**Warnings:** Yes, this is **Shounen-ai** meaning **boyxboy love**of the **sasu/naru** variety. Probably will not be anything explicit.

**Rating:** **T** for language, slight violence, and non-graphic adult situations. If you think I should up it, please let me know.

**A/N:** Thanks for reading. I appreciate all your reviews! Hope you enjoy!

* * *

**Gentlemen Prefer Blonds**

**Chapter Two**

Naruto wrinkled his forehead. Sasuke was acting even quieter than usual today, and it was confusing him. He'd been sort of pissy the other evening, too, when they'd finally left the bar, but Naruto'd just assumed the other ninja was, he didn't know, suffering male PMS or something.

The two male members of old cell seven were currently standing on the bridge leading to their old training grounds, waiting for Kakashi. Since their mission was still ongoing, and since they didn't have to stay outside of Konoha to do it, they had agreed to train with Kakashi during the day. They often trained with each other when they had spare time anyhow, each pushing the other to expand his own limits.

Kakashi, true to form, was running late, and Naruto, also true to form, was whining about it.

"I mean, come on, it's been how many years, and he still can't get here on time!"

"..."

"Seriously, he always does this!"

"..."

"How can he be a respected jounin if he always acts this way?!"

"Hn."

"You bastard, is that all you have to say?" Naruto suddenly whirled to face his sullen teammate, blue eyes challenging dark ones. His teammate's lack of response was beginning to annoy him.

"You talk enough for us both, idiot."

Naruto glared.

"And it's not like you're saying anything worth listening to."

Naruto glared some more, and wished that he could think of some sort of comeback. Whenever he argued with Sasuke, he always seemed to have to resort to childish insults or physical attacks.

"At least I'm not a stuck up prick!"

"Yeah, because being a moron is so much better."

Although so did Sasuke. It was something of a consolation to be the only one who could goad the stoic Uchiha into something as immature as name-calling.

"Asshole."

"Idiot"

"Bastard."

"Dumbass."

"Fuckfa—"

POOF

Kakashi appeared next to the bridge, interrupting Naruto in mid-insult. One casual glance was enough to show him that something was unusual today. Although the insults were pretty standard fare between the two, the atmosphere was different, more serious. They hadn't gotten into a serious disagreement in several years, not since Naruto's crush on Sakura, and hence a lot of his jealousy of Sasuke, had worn off, and not since Sasuke had begun to gain mastery over his sharingan, staving off some of his own insecurities.

Naruto leaned back a little and took a deep breath. During the argument, he had gotten right into Sasuke's face, and the other had refused to back away. By the time Kakashi interrupted them, mere inches separated the two. As Naruto tried to even out his breathing, he studied the stoic boy in front of him. Sasuke looked slightly flushed, and again he wondered what it was that was bothering him; Sasuke very rarely allowed his emotions to influence him enough to show. Something was clearly wrong.

"Whatever," Naruto muttered under his breath, before turning all his attention to their old teacher. "You're late!" he announced.

"Sorry," said Kakashi, "I—"

"Save it," said Naruto, "it's not like we haven't heard all your excuses before anyways."

Kakashi reached a hand up to rub the back of his head. "Well," he offered, "I don't know about that. I _am_ pretty creative."

Naruto gaped. "You have got to be kidding me," he muttered.

The jounin just stretched, "Anyways, I thought since it's such a nice day we could do some warm-ups first, then some supervised sparring."

"Okay," said Naruto. Sasuke just nodded silently.

It was, Naruto had to agree as he began his warm ups, a very nice day. It was one of those early autumn days, the sunlight was so bright as to be almost tangible. A very light wind rustled in the leaves of the trees surrounding them, the motion resulting in a constant low murmur. Naruto moved almost without conscious thought, his body automatically going through the drills that years of practice had beaten into his muscle memory. Punch, block, kick, pivot, drop down, fluidly moving from one movement to the next. From the corner of his eye, he could see Sasuke completing a similar set of movements.

"Alright," Kakashi declared, after about half an hour. "How about some sparring, one on one? The third person can rotate in when he wants, and we'll take turns."

Naruto nodded back, and even Sasuke managed to grunt in reply. It looked like the warm-ups had helped to shake him at least partially out of whatever mood it was he'd been in.

"Who's going first?" asked Naruto.

Kakashi slipped a kunai out of his pouch and threw it lightly at the younger man. "How about you and me?" he suggested.

"Okay." Naruto grinned one of his fighting grins, lips stretched to show unnaturally sharp canines. His eyes glinted as he reached out to pluck the kunai out of the air and send it flying back towards Kakashi. "You're on."

Sasuke was starting to feel his annoyance, momentarily abated by the pleasure of waring-up, return. He had been irritable since he got to the bridge that morning, not having gotten enough sleep the night before, and the sight of Naruto, sun shining off his hair making him appear even brighter than usual, had only served to remind him of the reason for that lack of sleep. Every time he had shut his eyes the night before, an image of Naruto with the grass nin had appeared behind his lids.

He was still having trouble processing the idea that someone else, and a man no less, wanted his stupid teammate. Wanted, as in, wanted to see him naked and writhing. Of course, he thought a touch smugly, he had seen his teammate naked on numerous occasions, although there had never been any writhing involved. He wondered if the writhing would make the nudity even better. Err. He was going to ignore that last thought.

He wasn:t sure exactly why it bothered him as much as it did; he had certainly been fine with the whole thing while it was Sakura who was supposed to be seducing the target. Things had just suddenly shifted in a way that he wouldn't have predicted, as they so often did with Naruto. When he had finally managed to get to sleep, he had been plagued by vivid dreams, the details of which escaped him as he woke.

Sasuke huffed out a breath in annoyance, and focused his eyes back on Kakashi and Naruto. The two had been sparring for about half an hour now, and neither had a clear upper hand. Kakashi had yet to uncover his sharingan eye, and Naruto had only created a few clones, which the older man had easily dispatched.

As he watched, he saw Naruto charge in at Kakashi, aiming a fist at the older man's covered face. The idiot always had been given to frontal attacks, but Kakashi seemed to have no trouble blocking it. In fact, Sasuke frowned suddenly, Kakashi had blocked it in such a way that he had captured Naruto's fist and managed to tug the teen off balance and almost into his chest. Then Kakashi reached around the blond with his other hand and grabbed Naruto's free hand, and then spun the young man around. Now Naruto was pulled flush against their old instructor's body, both hands trapped behind his back.

Kakashi leaned forward and said something to the blond that Sasuke couldn't quite make out. Whatever it was, it caused the blond to flush a little, and Sasuke decided that it was probably time for him to rotate into the spar.

As Sasuke stepped forward, Kakashi saw him and released the blond ninja that he had been holding captive. Naruto, apparently not seeing him, a fact which irritated the already-ruffled Uchiha, immediately turned back towards Kakashi. As he opened his mouth to say something to the gray-haired man, a kunai whizzed past his face.

"I'm your opponent now, idiot," declared Sasuke.

Naruto turned. And charged.

Right before the other reached him, Sasuke reflected on how odd it was that someone who was so unpredictable otherwise always started out his battles in the same way. Maybe that was something the two of them should work on. After that, he had no more time to think as the blond was upon him, trying his hardest to get past his guard.

Sasuke smirked. This was what he enjoyed the most, fighting with Naruto, stretching his limits, testing his entire capacity against the blond. And if his fighting style was a little bit more physical than usual, a little bit more intimate and aggressive, he certainly wasn't aware of it.

He hadn't yet realized his desire, as he blocked one of Naruto's high kicks and dropped and spun to sweep the other ninja's legs out from under him, to find out what had happened during the previous round of sparring.

As Naruto jumped out of the way of Sasuke's legs, the brunet followed, pressing his advantage. Throwing punches that the other blocked, Sasuke took the opportunity to lean his face in closer to Naruto's.

"What did Kakashi say to you?" he asked.

"Wha—?" said Naruto, his concentration shaken. They didn't usually stop to converse while in the middle of sparring. He stumbled slightly, and Sasuke was back in his face.

"Right before I came in, he said something. What was it?" His voice was insistent, and Naruto stared at him, just barely moving in time to block another kick.

"He said, ummm…" the blond was clearly flustered, and Sasuke's attacks were driving him towards the edge of the training area.

"Yes?" Somehow, Sasuke was managing to keep up a steady flurry of kicks and punches as he waited for Naruto's answer. Staring at the face of the blond, he wondered if the red tinge on his face was from the exercise or from embarrassment.

"He said, ummm, that I let myself be caught from behind too much," Naruto said, backing up even further.

One of Sasuke's eyebrows lifted. That was it? Then why had Naruto seemed so embarrassed? Almost idly, Sasuke reached out and pushed Naruto against the tree that he had been slowly backing the other ninja towards during their spar. He placed his hands against the tree to either side of Naruto's head, and smirked at widened blue eyes. There was something very...appealing about the look on Naruto's face right then. He leaned in, "Guess you can also be caught from the front."

Naruto's mouth dropped open, and he looked completely flabbergasted. Sasuke waited, still leaning into the other's personal space, as the idiot tried to gather his apparently very scattered wits.

"All right, boys, that's enough," Kakashi's voice rang across the clearing. Only Sasuke's amazingly superior ninja skills kept him from jumping. Genius shinobi though he undoubtedly was, he had completely forgotten about the presence of his old mentor right then. Silently he cursed himself for allowing himself to become so distracted as to forget such an important detail. "It's time to break for lunch."

With a reluctance that he wasn't about to admit to, Sasuke pulled himself out of Naruto's personal space and headed across the clearing to where Kakashi was seated underneath a tree. Half a second later, Naruto followed him, confusion still lingering on his features.

As Naruto moved to join the other two under the tree, Sasuke looked up. "No Neji today?" he asked, the words slipping out of his mouth before he could stop them.

The confusion on Naruto's face only deepened. "No," he answered slowly, "he's on a mission right now." Sasuke tried to ignore the puzzled look that he could feel coming from Naruto, and worse, the amused one coming from Kakashi.

"Hn," was all he said in reply, as he turned back to opening up the lunch he had brought. Inside, he was wondering whether he should feel happy that Neji wasn't around, or annoyed at the fact that the blond seemed to have the Hyuuga's damn mission schedule memorized. After struggling for a moment, he wondered why he even cared.

After lunch, they stretched out under the sun for half an hour or so, then resumed sparring. As the shadows lengthened, they parted ways for dinner, agreeing to meet up in front of the Hokage tower at seven to continue their mission.

Sasuke was first to arrive at the tower that evening. He was dressed in civilian clothing again, cargo pants and a dark shirt that hugged his body. Ignoring the ninjas passing by him to go in and out of the building, he leaned up against the side of it to wait for the rest of the team.

Naruto and Kakashi arrived almost simultaneously, much to Sasuke's surprise, although the jounin was usually much better about being on time to missions than he was about being on time to training. They immediately joined Sasuke at the side of the building to wait for Sakura.

As they waited, Sasuke glanced over his companions. Just, of course, to make sure that they were dressed appropriately for the mission. They were both wearing street clothes, and Kakashi had a bandanna tied over his sharingan eye instead of the forehead protector he usually wore. Even Naruto had clearly made some sort of effort with his clothes. He wasn't wearing orange at all, instead choosing a blue that matched his eyes, and he would have looked very innocent if the shirt he had on was a little less tight and his pants had had slightly less metal on them. Sasuke suspected that he had even brushed his hair, since it was falling over his eyes in a more orderly way than usual.

"Don't you think that's kind of obvious?" Naruto asked Kakashi, gesturing to the mask the jounin was wearing.

Kakashi just looked at him. "Are you still trying to get into my mask, Naruto?" he teased.

Sasuke tried to ignore them, although Naruto was right about the mask even if Kakashi had made efforts to make sure it matched his shirt. Too bad it was still too early in the season for their instructor to wear a scarf.

Before Naruto, who was sputtering, could make a reply to Kakashi, Sakura breezed out of the building.

"Hi guys," she said. "Tsunade just told me not to go to the club with you."

"What?" said Naruto, "Why not?"

"She said my presence was an unnecessary risk since it wasn't me the target was interested in, and so she was taking me off the mission."

"But Sakura, it won't be the same without you! Besides, if that's the case, why doesn't she take Sasuke and Kakashi off, too?"

"Who knows," Sakura rolled her eyes. Sometimes it was impossible to tell what her mentor was thinking. "She seemed to think you might want back-up."

"I could do this mission by myself if I had to!" Naruto half-pouted, half-boasted.

"Maybe," said Sakura. "Anyhow, she just sent me out to let you guys know not to expect me, so I better go back in. Also," the pink haired girl let the beginnings of a smile touch the corners of her mouth, "she wanted a description of what you were wearing. She said next time, you should definitely wear leather."

Naruto scowled. "Well, you can tell the old woman that I don't own any leather."

Sakura just laughed, "She said she'd buy you some." With a wave at them all, she walked back into the building.

Naruto grimaced, annoyed. "Nosy old woman," he muttered to himself.

"Hn." Sasuke made a small noise as he pushed himself off the building. Without a word he started walking down the road leading out of Konoha. The club, like the bar they had visited the first night, was in the next town over, fortunately for them since it meant they were unlikely to meet any people they knew there.

He was trying not to picture his rival and best friend in leather. He had a feeling that pretty soon he was going to have to rethink his relationship with Naruto. Damn mission.

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** I have no legal rights to any of the Naruto characters or settings. Just for fun, no profit involved. Sadly...

**Warnings**: Yes, this is **Shounen-ai **meaning **boyxboy love** of the **SasuNaru **variety.

**Rating: T** for language, slight violence, and non-graphic adult situations. If you think I should up it, please let me know.

**A/N:** Thanks for reading! As always, constructive criticism is much appreciated. I still expect this to be a pretty short fic, probably finishing up in the next chapter or two. Still don't have a beta, so please excuse all grammar mistakes and comma abuse.

* * *

**Gentlemen Prefer Blonds **

**Chapter Three**

Naruto stopped the group when they were about a hundred yards away from the club.

"This is probably a good place to stop since we're not all going in together," he explained pulling the other two into a deserted side street. "At least, Sasuke and I are, but Kakashi, you should probably give us half an hour or so." This was the set-up they had agreed to beforehand.

Naruto had told the grass nin that he was bringing Sasuke with him (he had been playing coy at the time), since the target knew that the two of them knew each other. None of them wanted the grass nin to know that Kakashi was also a part of their group, for the simple reason that it is always beneficial to have a hidden ally.

Kakashi nodded. "I'll cover the exits for awhile," he said, "and then come in."

"Ok," said Naruto. "Then there's just this to do." He switched on his mike, and waited for the other two to turn on their receivers. Sasuke adjusted his in his ear a little, finding it slightly uncomfortable. Naruto moved away a few steps. "Testing," he said.

His voice came across the wires, sounding slightly hollow but perfectly recognizable. Sasuke nodded at him, to say that it was working. The two younger ninja then proceeded on to the club, and Kakashi leapt to the top of a nearby building and disappeared.

As he watched his two erstwhile students go into the club, Kakashi snickered into his mask. He wished he didn't have to wait half an hour to go in. Sasuke's expressions were too fun to watch. Oh well. At least he could still listen in. He settled more comfortably on his chosen rooftop, ignoring the chill of the wind through his clothes with practiced ease, and prepared to be entertained.

Over the wire, he could still hear the two young men as the bouncer let them into the club. Or, to be completely accurate, he could hear Naruto making comments to the bouncer, and Sasuke grunting in acknowledgement. The relative silence of the wire immediately disappeared in a babble of background voices, and the underlying thump of the bass line of the music playing.

It was dark inside, and noisy, with at least two rooms. The area they entered into was a small bar area. A doorway a little further in opened onto a darker dance floor. Sasuke shuddered fastidiously. Why anyone would actually pay money in order to sit in a poorly lit, smelly, loud, small room, all just to have a drink, was beyond him. If he wanted to drink he had a nice, clean, uncrowded, and above all _quiet_ kitchen in which he could do so and be assured that no one would bother him. Naruto, he noted, seemed perfectly at ease in their current environment, and briefly he wondered just where, exactly, Jiraiya had trained him.

After a moment, he realized that Naruto was leading him towards the bar, weaving his way expertly around low tables and spindly chairs. The blond stepped nimbly to the right to avoid a suddenly-kicked out chair, and then ducked to avoid running nose-first into a pair of foaming beer mugs being held precariously by one of the tallest men Sasuke had ever seen. He himself was having considerably more trouble avoiding all the detritus, human and otherwise, that clogs most bars, and when he almost tripped over some silly asshole's briefcase (what sort of tightass brought a briefcase to a club anyways? even Sasuke knew better than _that_), Naruto had looked back and, with an exasperated grunt, grabbed Sasuke's hand. Sasuke was too busy denying the fact that he had done anything with less than one hundred percent of his usual grace, and so it took him a moment to realize why his hand was suddenly feeling so warm. Cozy really. When he did realize, he immediately shook Naruto off with an "I don't need your help, idiot."

"You keep telling yourself that," was Naruto's cheerful reply, before making a quick noise of satisfaction. "Oh good, he's here already."

Peering through the cigarette-produced haze, Sasuke could see the figure of the target ahead, leaning against the bar and chatting with the bartender.

"Here's the guy I was telling you about," he announced as they came up to him. He quickly shifted upright and moved towards Naruto.

"Ah," said the bartender, giving them both a quick once over. "Better be careful, he looks like a heartbreaker." With an amiable leer, he turned to Sasuke, "And who might you be?"

It was about that time that Sasuke, staring straight back into the bartender's eyes, realized what it was that had been nibbling at the back of his mind since they had first entered the bar. There were no women there. Well, maybe there were one or two in the corners, and one of the bar staff was female, but the clientele was predominantly male. Predominantly male, and apparently _very_ friendly, judging by some of the looks he now realized he was receiving. Goddammit. A gay club. His idiot teammate had brought him into a gay club. He didn't even know you could _find_ a gay club anywhere within fifty miles of Konoha, and now he was standing in one.

He would probably have to kill Naruto later. Although he might spare his life long enough to ask how his teammate had even _known_ about this place. Not that he was curious, really. He just wanted the blond to have to suffer that much longer.

The dark-eyed boy was jerked out of his brooding by the unwelcome addition of an arm into his personal space. Specifically, Naruto's arm which seemed to have come up out of nowhere and latched itself onto the back of his nearest shoulder. And was just touching the skin where his neck met said shoulder. Not that he knew this because every single nerve cell along the heavy pathway of Naruto's arm, the other boy being slightly shorter was hanging off of him to get the proper reach, had come alive, while the area where his collar ended and his neck began was practically sizzling. Or if it was, it was only because Sasuke was allergic to touch. He wondered when his shirt had gotten so thin, because he could feel the heat radiating off Naruto as if there was no clothing between them. The other boy, now smiling benignly at the bartender, was apparently a human furnace.

"This's my best friend," Naruto said, seemingly oblivious to Sasuke's increasing discomfort. "He goes everywhere with me."

"As long as he doesn't always…_come_…with you," said the target. Naruto looked completely clueless for a moment before his big blue eyes widened even further, and he pulled away from Sasuke almost comically quickly. The dark-haired ninja, for his part, had merely stiffened slightly before glancing down a little to take his cue from Naruto. But for once, the blond seemed speechless.

"Everywhere?" queried the bartender, raising a brown at Sasuke.

"Ehehe, well," Naruto seemed to regain his confidence, and sent a suggestive wink in the direction of the bar, "maybe not _everywhere_. In fact, I think he's going to go mingle right now. Later, man!" And Naruto turned and walked away, the target resting a hand proprietarily along the small of his back.

Sasuke resisted the urge to growl at the receding back of his supposed "best friend" who had just left him stranded in the bar section of a gay club without so much as a backwards glance. Yep, he was definitely going to kill him later.

The bartender, who'd been about to speak, took one look at Sasuke's face and changed his mind.

"So that's how it is, huh?" he said. "Here." He reached under the bar and pulled out a bottle half-full with some light-amber liquid and a glass. Pushing the glass towards Sasuke, he splashed a generous amount of alcohol into it. "On the house," he said. "You'll need it."

"Huh?" Sasuke turned to face him, puzzled.

"I've seen him in here before," the bartender gestured vaguely in the direction that the two men had gone. "Comes in about once a month or so."

For a moment, Sasuke was lost. Why would Naruto be coming to a gay club once a month? Then he realized that he was being an idiot. The target. Of course the bartender was talking about the target. Surreptitiously, he clicked his microphone on. Jackpot! Looked like the bartender knew something about their man, and equally importantly, about the company he was keeping. Kakashi should hear this too.

"Yep, once or twice a month," the bartender was saying, "always with a different guy, mind you. And," here he leaned a little closer, resting an elbow on the bar, "word is, the guys tend to 'disappear' after." Sasuke ran an absent finger around the rim of his glass as he thought, then frowned. Disappear, huh? It sounded suspicious to him.

"Mostly local boys?" he asked.

The bartender shook his head. "Nah. Never seen 'em before in my life. Mind you, many of my clients come from a fair distance, what with their being no other options and all. And if they aren't regulars, I can't necessarily say I'll remember them." He paused a moment in thought. "'Course, there was that business with Keisuke not so long back. Just rumors, though."

"Rumors?" Sasuke prompted.

The bartender smiled a little, more than happy to share a bit of salacious gossip with the attractive young man sitting in front of him. "Yeah, apparently he wouldn't take 'no' for an answer. Went a bit too far, if you know what I mean."

"Oh," was all Sasuke could manage. He wasn't sure which response the bartender was expecting from him, but seeing the glass in front of him, he decided a sip was always appropriate.

"See, I told you you'd need it," the bartender observed. "Worse, for you that is, I don't think I've ever seen him quite as excited about anyone as he was about your friend there. Not that I can say I blame him. But I hope your friend knows how to take care of himself."

"Yeah," Sasuke muttered, although he hoped it wouldn't come to that. If there was any sort of altercation he was sure Naruto could handle himself, but he would almost certainly have to blow his cover to do so. No ordinary civilian could beat a ninja. He took another sip of his drink.

"'Course," the bartender added thoughtfully as he refilled Sasuke's glass—when had it gotten empty?—"on the bright side, at least you'll get to be the one to pick up the pieces."

Sasuke nearly spit out his mouthful of whatever the hell it was the bartender was serving him. What?! Clearly, he'd missed a step somewhere.

"Mind you, it's not a bad position to be in," the bartender continued, calmly wiping up the spilled alcohol and handing him a napkin for the liquid that had dribbled down his chin. "He'll be vulnerable, you'll be available and sympathetic…strong…supportive. You know. It can work out. Of course, you'll have to figure out a way to change all that 'best friend' business, because, otherwise frankly, it'd just be letting a whole lot of effort and a golden opportunity slip through your fingers.

"I-I-I, uhm," Sasuke fumbled for the mike switch. Okay, well, fumbled as much as a ninja of his prowess, who just happened to be having an off night, dammit, could fumble. Meaning, his finger slipped once on the catch. Ok, so it looked like they were off the topic of the target. Kakashi definitely didn't need to hear any wild and unfounded and utterly, patently ridiculous notions that the bartender had apparently come up with. How they'd even gotten onto the topic of his _own_ love life he had no idea. Equally bewildering, why the barkeep had chosen _Naruto_ of all people for his unrequited love interest (as if Sasuke would even have an unrequited love in the first place. He was _Uchiha __Sasuke_ after all) was beyond him. And beyond disturbing.

"I don't…It's not…" Of all times for his self-possession to fail him. Not that Sasuke was usually the most talkative of teens, but he rarely ever stuttered, and he always managed full, coherent, if somewhat concise, sentences. This was clearly not his night. Probably the bartender had spiked his drink. But before he could form a proper rebuttal, that very same bartender winked at him.

"You can try to deny it if you like, kid, but I saw your face when he left with that other guy."

"Yes, bu—"

"Plus you were staring at his ass as he walked off."

"Who was staring at whose ass?" A new voice joined the conversation. The very last voice that Sasuke wanted to hear at that moment, or maybe, second to last because, really, it would even more embarrassing if it had been Naruto who'd just joined the conversation. But his perverted mentor was a pretty close second.

Sasuke dropped his head and thunked it slowly against the counter as Kakashi seated himself casually beside him. Great. This was exactly the sort of situation that his sadistic teacher would enjoy most. And to top it all off, his face felt suspiciously hot. He hoped to whatever god was currently mocking him that he wasn't blushing because he was never going to live this down as it was.

"Cheer up, kid," the bartender said kindly, pushing his refilled glass back towards him. "Your friend is a hot piece of ass. I'd do him in an instant if he so much as looked at me." The man seemed oblivious to the glare that Sasuke was now sporting, due, of course! to the ridiculous notion that he wanted anything to do with Naruto in _that _way. "Besides, you've already got best friend advantage."

"Always a good place to start," Kakashi had apparently decided that it was time for him to become a more active participant in the conversation. He ignored Sasuke's scowl with the practiced ease of someone who had known the boy for nearly half a dozen years. "Who is this we're talking about?"

"The blond in the blue shirt," the bartender replied, pointing in the direction Naruto had gone.

"Oh," Kakashi nodded sagely. "I saw him when I came in. Definitely doable. But you say he's taken?"

"Yeah, by that guy, and our young friend here."

Kakashi turned to Sasuke, who was currently calculating how much more alcohol he would have to consume to get him drunk enough to forget the entire conversation. Hell, he wouldn't mind forgetting the entire week while he was at it, "Unlucky in love, huh?" he asked sympathetically.

"Unlucky, in any case," the younger man grunted back.

"I know the feeling, kid," Kakashi replied. "Let me buy you a drink and you can tell me all about it." Kakashi pushed money at the bartender in return for two filled glasses and walked off, Sasuke in tow. Glancing up at him once, Sasuke scowled. The bastard was most definitely grinning under his mask.

* * *

Well, if nothing else went right, at least Naruto had managed to spot the client almost immediately, and take him off alone. From where Sasuke was sitting though, it didn't look like the other boy was having much luck in getting the older man to talk. After a brief stint on the dance floor that Sasuke definitely did not watch, Naruto had pulled the target into a quieter section of the bar area. 

Kakashi and Sasuke had settled into a near corner that allowed them a limited view of the two ninja. As he listened to their (nauseating, disgusting, disturbing) talk over his earpiece, Sasuke almost felt a little sorry for his blond teammate. After all, the man had made it abundantly clear that he was not interested in him for his intellect. It looked like even Naruto, champion talker though he was, was having trouble keeping up the chatter.

Ten seconds after what must have been the hundredth brief silence followed by a quickly-stifled "eep" escaped his companion, Naruto's voice came clearly over the wire.

"Excuse me a moment please," he said, and Sasuke could clearly picture the smile that went with that vocal tone. It was the one Naruto wore when he knew he would be throttled for being rude. It was the one he used to wear when he went shopping and the villagers had treated him with barely concealed dislike and distrust. It was strained on the edges and didn't quite reach his eyes, and he no longer wore it as often as he used to. And the fact that this mission was making him use it again made something deep, deep within the Uchiha feel a tiny, infinitesimal really, spark of, well, that was probably irritation.

"I have to use the restroom; I'll be right back."

Kakashi leaned towards Sasuke, "So, you wanna go, or shall I?" The younger ninja felt a small shiver run down his spine as he took in the mischievous look in his mentor's eye. "After all, I did tell the bartender that I was going to try to grope Naruto at some point tonight…"

Sasuke blinked in shock for a moment, brain derailing at the thought of his teacher, eww, hitting on his stupid teammate. Double eww. Just where had Sasuke _been_ during that part of the discussion?! Oh right, trying to knock himself out on the counter. He stood up abruptly, feeling a sudden need to run away from the man sitting in front of him. Quickly, before his brain decided to try and put any of Kakashi's words into pictures.

"I'll go," he said, striding off for the restroom without giving Kakashi a chance to object. Naruto was waiting for him just inside the door, frowning.

"Secure?" he asked, opening all the stall doors and checking for people.

"No one's here."

"Ok, so what did you need to say?" Sasuke folded his arms across his chest and leaned one hip against a sink as he surveyed his teammate. Naruto certainly didn't look drunk, despite the fact that the target had been plying him with drinks all evening. He must've been practicing some sleight of hand. He did still have a slight alcohol flush though, lending color to his cheeks and causing his eyes to look a little more sparkly…um….glazed, definitely he meant glazed, than usual. Sasuke cleared his throat.

"This isn't working; I'm not getting anywhere."

"Do that olive-drink thing again," Sasuke suggested, before his brain could catch up with his mouth. Oh god, had he just sort of, in some roundabout, very subtle way, hinted that that stunt yesterday had been…sexy? Seductive? He snapped his mouth closed and hoped that Naruto would be too dense to read into his words. He bet Kakashi was sniggering back at the table, the bastard.

Naruto frowned, "_That__'__s_ certainly not the problem asshole. I'm not as incompetent as you always think I am! Actually, it worked too damn well, and since I want to leave this place with at least two consecutive inches of my body freakin' ungroped, and he certainly ain't talking, I wanta go."

"Oh."

"You know, if you keep frowning like that, you're gonna have wrinkles by the time you're twenty-five."

"Shut up, dumbass."

"Just saying. Anyways, after I get back, gimme five, ok, and then come get me?" Barely waiting for Sasuke's nod, Naruto turned and pushed past him out of the bathroom.

It was a long five minutes. Judging by the increased frequency of the small shocked noises coming from Naruto, the target had apparently taken their time apart as an opportunity to grow another three pairs of hands or so.

Sasuke gritted his teeth, and on exactly the three hundredth second, stood up from Kakashi.

"Meet you outside," he said. The older man nodded and made his weaving way through the tables and chairs. He was doing a very convincing drunk act, and if Sasuke hadn't known that the older nin hadn't once refilled his glass, even he might've believed it. He got up and headed towards Naruto.

"Uh oh, there's Sasuke." Good, he saw him. "Oh man, and he looks like he's gonna kill me!" That's about right, Naruto, thought Sasuke, coming over to their table. He had had to sit with Kakashi for the last hour and a half, listening, on the one hand, to his old rival slash best friend being hit on by some scuzzy man, and, on the other hand, to Kakashi alternately providing a critique of Naruto's techniques along with a running commentary about where he might've learned them, and pretending to hit on him, like a semi-drunken pervy old man. Which Sasuke felt was probably not all that far from the truth. Killing something would've been an extremely welcome stress relief at the moment.

He didn't even try not to loom as he stopped right above them and peered down his nose at the couple.

Naruto's, for lack of better word, date snorted. "Yeah, or more likely, kill me."

Sasuke considered it, cocking his head to one side. It would be the simplest, most efficient solution to their problem. Damn Tsunade for convincing him that getting the scroll back was more important that killing the man.

Naruto frowned. "No, that's the face he wears just before he yells at me about something stupid and inconsequential."

Before the target, he was really going to have to ask Naruto for his name later, could reply, Sasuke leaned down over their table. "Done ignoring me?" he asked, voice pitched dark and low enough that it actually cut _under_ the general noise of the bar. He smirked inside as they both looked up at him, one pair of eyes wide, the others narrowed and suspicious. That voice always got peoples' attention.

"It's time to go," he said, allowing irritation to slip into his voice. Then he simply stood there and looked bored, not a hard feat considering the years of practice he'd had, and waited as Naruto made a big production out of looking at the clock and exclaiming at the time and generally excusing himself as he stood to go.

"I better go," he said, turning to the target. "You sure you won't tell me where I can find you?" he asked, voice soft, reaching out to just barely hook one finger in the other man's collar.

"I'll find you," the target stood also, then leaned forward to cup Naruto's chin and draw him forwards a little, tilting his face upwards as he did so.

Sasuke huffed in irritation. If Naruto started making out in front of him, he wasn't going to be responsible for his actions. Public displays of affection annoyed him. Although for some reason he couldn't seem to turn his eyes away from the scene that was playing out in front of him. Probably one of those morbid fascination things, like the way people stopped to gape at accident scenes. After all, he was perfectly well aware of how the idiot kissed—hadn't he stolen his first kiss at the age of twelve? Made his lips hurt like a bitch all day too.

Naruto let himself be drawn forward until the targets face was barely an inch away before stopping his advance by touching two fingers to the other's lips.

"Sorry," he whispered, "I don't kiss on the first date." He rested his other arm on the target's shoulder and stood on tiptoe. As the other man made a move to protest, Naruto leaned forward swiftly, moving past the ninja's face and taking the target's earlobe into his mouth. Retreating just as quickly, he backed up and smiled at the dark-haired target.

"See ya later," he said, turning to stand by Sasuke. Sasuke, who was feeling irritation pooling in his stomach, the heat curling his insides, but who, through a great effort of will, managed to not do anything except turn on his heel and begin to walk away.

They had gotten five steps before the target managed to get his apparently scattered wits, if he had any to begin with, back into some semblance of normalcy.

"Wait, Shinji," he called. 

"Yeah?" Naruto half-turned and tossed the question back over his shoulder.

"Tomorrow. There's a park near here. Meet me at 5:30?"

"Maybe," Naruto winked. "Goodnight."

The target's soft curses followed them across the room as they left.

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** I have no legal rights to any of the Naruto characters or settings. Just for fun, no profit involved. Sadly...

**Warnings:** Yes, this is **shounen-ai** meaning **boyxboy love** of the **SasuNaru** variety.

**Rating: T** for language, slight violence, and non-graphic adult situations. If you think I should up it, please let me know.

**A/N:** Sorry guys, I meant to get this up last week. Oh well, here is is now. Thanks for reading and commenting! Enjoy.

* * *

**Gentlement Prefer Blonds**

**Chapter Four**

Outside the bar, Naruto breathed an audible sigh of relief, blowing his bangs up and out of his face, and crossing his arms over his chest.

"Thank god that's over," he said, stretching his arms over his head, causing his shirt to ride up slightly. Not that Sasuke noticed. Certainly he hadn't been looking. Except that, as a ninja, of course, he was trained to notice details. So if he did happen to notice anything like the fact that approximately two more inches of Naruto had suddenly become exposed, and that he must've been training with his shirt off again, because it looked like his stomach was about the same color tan as his arms, than that was why. His ninja skills were top class.

"Where's Kakashi?" his arms were back across his chest again, and Sasuke pointedly looked away from the other boy.

"Out here," he grunted.

Naruto peered at the other ninja from out of the corner of his eye. "Man, someone's grouchy tonight," he muttered. "No need to be such an asshole."

Sasuke opened his mouth, changed his mind, closed it, and made a non-verbal noise instead. He did not need to get sucked into a pointless argument with Naruto right then.

"Whatever. You're such a bastard sometimes, you know that, right?" Naruto uncrossed his arms and drummed his fingers back against the wall he was leaning against. Fidgeting. The blond was definitely fidgeting, and the irregular beat was…annoying.

Sasuke snorted, irritation overriding his earlier prudence, as it always seemed to around Naruto. "Ha, you don't kiss on the first date, but you bite ears?.!"

Blue eyes widened in surprise, before narrowing. Naruto looked incensed. "I didn't bite it, I nibbled. There's a difference—not that an ice prick like you would know."

Sasuke drew a deep breath, but before he could retort and start the fight he'd been spoiling for ever since he'd realized Naruto'd abandoned him in a gay club, a hand fell on his shoulder. He scowled back at Kakashi for the second time that evening, yet again cursing the man's timing, but his teacher looked unconcerned.

"Much as I'm very interested in things you've nibbled and when," he said, "let's save it for later, ok boys? Sasuke, why don't you fill Naruto in about the information from the bartender as we go." Having reached the end of the two, he jumped onto the nearest tree branch, closely followed by his two students.

Naruto, attention instantly diverted from his previous anger, listened intently as Sasuke told him about the target's dating history, as seen from the bartender's perspective.

After Sasuke finished, Kakashi grinned, his voice teasing. "Well, that wasn't _all_ the bartender said." Then he ducked as Sasuke turned to swing at him.

"Aw, I knew he liked you," Naruto exclaimed, immediately, to Sasuke's immense relief, jumping to the wrong conclusion. Well, the wrong conclusion as to why he didn't want Kakashi to mention it, anyway.

"Maybe you should give him a try," Naruto continued, oblivious to Kakashi's chortling in the background. "Getting laid might loosen you up."

Sasuke's brows drew together. "Not that you'd know," he snapped. "You probably couldn't pay anyone in Konoha to do _you_." He knew the second the words left his mouth that he'd gone too far, that he'd overstepped, hell trampled, stomped, and spat on, the always tenuous boundaries that he and Naruto walked with each other. Bringing up childhood insecurities was unbelievably cruel of him.

For one infinitely long moment, blue eyes stared straight into his, then, "Fuck you," Naruto said flatly. "Kakashi, if you need me for anything else, you know where to find me. I'm going home." Leaving the other two, he increased his speed and disappeared into the gloom.

"Shit," Sasuke muttered, dropping onto a convenient tree branch. Slouching against the tree trunk, he rubbed his eyes. He hadn't meant to say that. Hell, he didn't even know _why_ he had done it. He'd just been embarrassed and panicked, and…he let his head fall back against the tree with a dull thud.

"Don't say anything," he warned as he felt Kakashi's weight settle onto the branch next to him.

"I wasn't going to."

"And stop looking at me." He could feel the older man's gaze even with his eyes closed. "I didn't mean to say that," he added quietly.

Kakashi sighed, and for the third time that evening, Sasuke felt a weight settle on his shoulder. "We're all tired," he said, giving the shoulder a slight squeeze. "Naruto doesn't hold grudges." He paused, and Sasuke opened his eyes.

He, of all people, knew that Naruto didn't hold grudges. But he wondered how many times he could rip his arm through the other's chest and continue to be forgiven for it. And he wondered how many times he could continue to forgive himself for doing it.

"But Sasuke," Kakashi continued, and he pinned the younger man with his one visible eye, "maybe it's time for you to sort some things out, because you aren't making this easy on anyone. And you can't keep taking your confusion out on Naruto."

Sasuke closed his eyes again. "I know," he admitted, so softly he wasn't sure whether Kakashi heard him or not, but after a moment he felt the branch creak as Kakashi stood.

"We'll meet at the bridge tomorrow at nine. Good night, Sasuke."

"Good night." And he was alone, the wind rustling through the branches around him and an image of the frozen expression in Naruto's eyes etched into his memory.

"Fuck," he whispered.

* * *

He hadn't slept well. Tree branches weren't designed for comfort and he'd been awakened early in the morning when he'd shifted uncomfortably and fallen nearly 25 feet before realizing that he'd been sleeping in the same tree, 10 miles outside of Konoha, that Kakashi had left him in the previous evening. He'd barely had time to get home, shower, change, and eat before it was time to meet Kakashi and Naruto at the bridge. 

As he neared the meeting place, he could make out a figure sitting on the railing and looking into the water. Unconsciously, Sasuke slowed a little, feet dragging. He had no idea how Konoha's number one unpredictable ninja was going to greet him, or if he would even greet him at all, given how they'd parted the night before. But he was an Uchiha, dammit, and Uchihas did not run away so he kept going until he was standing mere feet in front of his teammate.

"You look like shit," Naruto said nonchalantly. Sasuke let out a breath that he hadn't even been aware he was holding. Naruto was still talking to him. Granted, not very civilly, but when was Naruto ever civil? As long as he wasn't being quiet.

Sasuke said nothing, opting instead to scan the other's face. At first glance, Naruto looked fine, but Sasuke knew him too well for that. The other's blue eyes were dimmer than usual, and the elaborately casual tone to his voice was belied by a slight stiffness to his shoulders.

"You gonna answer, or you just gonna stand there staring at me?" There was a definite note of belligerence now threading through the blonds' tone, and Sasuke could feel the relief sifting through him. As long as the other was still willing to fight with him, it was okay. Everything was going to be okay. Sasuke stepped a few feet closer, stopping right in front of Naruto and leaning down slightly to look the seated boy in the eyes.

"Look," he started. Then stopped, because what with all the falling out of trees, and the rushing around to find clothes, and the worrying over whether he had just lost his best friend, he hadn't actually planned out what he was going to say. And Sasuke was a genius shinobi, and genius shinobi always planned their attacks, were always two steps ahead of the enemy. That was what made them geniuses. That was why Naruto would never be one.

"Look," he tried again, leaning closer, as if his mere proximity would allow all the thoughts and feelings that had been rushing through him since yesterday to pass out of his head and into Naruto's, bypassing things like words and ears completely. Not that that would ever work anyways, of course, because Naruto usually needed things explicitly spelled out for him, all the i's dotted and t's crossed, and, if possible, little diagrams showing how A fitted together with B to make C.

All of which, frankly, Sasuke didn't know, because he'd had a hell of a time trying to decipher his emotions, let alone try to explain them to someone else. It wasn't that he wasn't smart, but he just wasn't used to having so many of the damned things. And they were all jumbled together and disorderly, and his own sense of panic and guilt were keeping him from thinking straight. He hated disorder, which was why he needed to get this fixed _now_.

"Just, look," Sasuke said for the third time.

"I _am_ looking," Naruto answered crossly. "And all I'm seeing is _your_ large nose poking a little too far into _my_ personal space."

Sasuke was starting to sweat. So this was why he never apologized. It turned out that he absolutely sucked at it. He clenched his fists, which had at some point closed around the railing on either side of Naruto, and ignored the ominous creaking of wood.

"It's just…about last night…what I said…I didn't mean to…hurt you." His voice was quiet, but he was pretty sure it wasn't shaking. That was good, even if it was coming out all stilted and hesitant and he hated sounding hesitant because he was not a person accustomed to doubting himself. Doubt was weakness, and he had always had the strength of his certainty. Even when he'd been wrong, he'd acted boldly and with decisiveness.

"Yes," said Naruto, "You did." He was being still again, and flat, and his voice was unemotional, and it scared Sasuke when Naruto got like that because it was impossible for him to read. And he could _always_ read Naruto.

Plus he was right. "Yes," Sasuke agreed quietly, "I did. I'm…sorry." He dropped his eyes to the ground, not sure if he could face looking at Naruto right then. Not sure if he wanted to see how the other boy took his apology. There was a long pause, and Sasuke's hands tightened further around the wood of the railing.

Which, with a loud CRACK! suddenly split, dumping the ninja sitting on it ass-backwards into the river, and leaving the one leaning on it nothing to support his weight but a handful of splinters. Sasuke wildly windmilled his arms a few times, hoping to regain his balance before falling, in what felt like excruciatingly slow motion, into the river with Naruto.

Seconds later, both ninjas surfaced and began clawing their way to the bank. As they emerged from the river, wringing wet and looking like a pair of half-drowned rodents, Naruto spoke. "You know, I would've accepted your apology. You didn't need to drown me into submission."

"Hn," Sasuke grunted, but the faintest quirk of his lips showed his relief as he began wringing the water out of his shirt.

By the time Kakashi showed up, the two teenage ninja were mostly dry and the atmosphere between them was no longer strained. Naruto was chattering away about something and rolling around in the grass, while the dark-haired boy was pretending to ignore him. Pretending, because ignoring Naruto was something he had never been good at, not even when they were genins. And pretending because it was fun to get a rise out of the blond.

Kakashi, much to Sasuke's relief, didn't say anything about the restored peace between the two, instead greeting them as if everything was normal, and inviting them into a three-way, taijutsu-only, no-holds-barred spar which lasted into the early afternoon.

By the time the sun was directly overhead, the three men were coated with sweat and more than a little hungry. It was, unsurprisingly, Kakashi who called a halt, even though he and Naruto had momentarily teamed up to clobber the Uchiha into the ground.

"But, Kakashi, we've almost got him!" whined Naruto.

"Hmm, yes," agreed Kakashi, "but you have a date to get ready for, and unless you really want me to ask Tsunade to pick out your clothes for you, you'd better get changed fast."

"Oh, hell no!" the blond shuddered. Tsunade thought the whole thing was funny and who knew _what_ she'd think was appropriate for him to wear. Sadistic old hag. He disappeared with a parting, "Meet you back here in an hour!"

* * *

As usual, Sasuke was earliest for their mission. He leaned up against the railing of the bridge, careful to avoid the gaping hole from earlier. He hoped Tsunade didn't find out he was responsible for it and assign fixing it to them as a D-rank mission. 

While waiting, he wondered if Naruto had thought of what, exactly, they were going to do to get their surprisingly tight-lipped, well, when it came to information, target to give out his address. Even a phone number would be helpful. So far, none of Naruto's surprisingly sneaky questions had worked.

There had to be an easier way. Maybe they should ask Ino; she was the one who usually did seduction missions anyhow. Running a hand through his hair, Sasuke frowned. And where the hell was the rest of his team? They were ten minutes late already. Okay, well, it was expected of Kakashi, but Naruto was usually almost punctual. At least for missions.

As he thought that, he noticed a something moving in the distance.

"Sorry I'm late," Naruto panted, bending over a little to rest his hands on his knees. After a moment he straightened. "I stopped off at the flower shop to ask Ino if she had any tips I could use."

Sasuke was impressed. Looked like the moron was making an effort to think ahead for once in his life.

He paused, blue eyes looking indignant. "She thought the whole thing was funny. I mean, come on! I don't know why everyone thinks the idea of me on a seduction mission is so ridiculous. I can be sexy, dammit!" He pouted.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, but before he could respond the third member of their team showed up, popping into existence behind Naruto and resting his mask-clad chin on the teenager's shoulder. "_I_ think you're sexy, Naruto," he teased.

"Ack!" Naruto leaped forward, nearly crashing into Sasuke. "Get off me Kakashi-sensei! You're such a pervert, you know that right?"

Sasuke put a hand out to steady Naruto, who was wobbling on his feet, and raised an eyebrow at their old teacher.

"Just trying to help," Kakashi raised his hands innocently.

"Well, I definitely don't need your help! Anyways," he turned so that he could face them both, "Ino says I need to get into wherever it is he's staying. Or find out where it is, and have you guys raid it while I distract him, or something like that. She says most ninjas aren't stupid enough to spill all their secrets just 'cause they're trying to get into your pants."

"Makes sense," Kakashi nodded. "I usually lie when I'm trying to get into someone's pants anyways. Don't you?"

Naruto smacked his forehead, and Sasuke resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Naturally their perverted teacher would do something like that.

Ignoring the question, Sasuke turned to leave.

"Okay, let's go."

The three ninja's leapt into the surrounding trees and were on their way. As they moved through the branches, they began to discuss the day's strategy.

By the time they neared the town, Sasuke was feeling very…frustrated. Apparently, his role this time would be slightly different.

"Because honestly," Naruto was starting to sound exasperated. "It's not like I can keep showing up with Sasuke. I mean, come on! That's just weird! Yesterday, yes, okay, it was a club. But today…"

"Okay, okay," Sasuke grumbled. They were currently standing on the outskirts of the park, and it wouldn't do for them to be caught arguing there. Especially as Naruto did have a valid point, in that it _would_ be sort of weird for him to keep bringing Sasuke along on his dates. But just because Naruto was right, didn't mean Sasuke had to be happy with the fact that it looked like he was going to have to sit and watch from the trees with Kakashi. He cast a sidelong glance at their grey-haired teacher and frowned. The bastard would probably tease him again. Not, mind you, that there was anything to tease him _about_, and now that Naruto had forgiven him for yesterday, he certainly wasn't going to do anything to jeopardize that.

"I'll stay out of sight. You just get the information as quickly as you can." He began looking around for a good tree to settle into. Not like they knew exactly where the target was going to be, anyways. Stupid vague dates. For a moment he wondered if that ear thing had really felt that good.

"Leave it to me!" Naruto flashed them a grin, and, there was no other word for it, strutted off towards the gateway.

Sasuke turned to Kakashi, who'd been surprisingly silent throughout the last exchange. Seeing the slight movement of the mask that meant Kakashi was about to speak, he said, "Unless you're going to point out a good vantage point for us, I don't want to hear it."

The mask stilled.

"Good." Without another word, the two ninja leaped into the nearby trees and, masking their chakra as best they could, waited for Naruto to give them some clue as to where they should be. They didn't have to wait long.

_"__Oh, there you are.__"_

_"Shinji__, so good to see you. I wasn__'__t sure you would come.__"_

_"__Of course, Ryuu__—__oomph.__"_

"What the…" Sasuke hissed. "He just attacked him!"

Kakashi's uncovered eye looked distinctly amused. "I suppose you could call it that…Not that I can blame him, really, considering the way Naruto was teasing him."

"What do you…" Sasuke grew still as he listened more closely to the sounds coming over the wire. "Oh."

_"__Hello to you, too.__"_

_"__Not the first date anymore__…"_

The bastard sounded very smug. Sasuke wished they weren't so far away, so that he could see what was going on. Damn Naruto for not telling them where they were, so they could sneak closer.

_"__No, I suppose no__—__oh!__"_

Kakashi pulled out his porn. "This is like a live-action soundtrack," he blushed happily. Sasuke curled one hand into a fist, and tried very hard _not_ to picture whatever it was the target was currently doing to his teammate. Who was making some very interesting sounds, which Sasuke was also trying very hard _not _to listen to.

_"__I brought a picnic if you__'__re hungry.__"_

Oh good, maybe now he would stop molesting his teammate. Naruto never turned down food.

_"__Oh, I__'__m hungry alright...__"_

Sasuke smirked to himself. Ha, and they called him unpredictable!

_"__But not for food__…"_

He almost fell off the branch. Goddammit, Naruto was doing that sexy, husky voice thing again, and he had already decided last time that it didn't affect him. Fuck. Why was he doing all of his heavy-duty relationship thinking in trees these days?

Naruto was his best friend, his first friend, and probably his most loyal friend. He offered help when Sasuke was too proud to ask for it, and he kicked his ass when Sasuke was being an idiotic bastard. And prior to this twice-damned mission, Sasuke had never, not once, not ever, thought to look at him in _that_ way. Of course, to be fair, Sasuke had never looked at anyone in that way. He'd spent too many of his formative adolescent years hiding from horny girls with hungry eyes to even want to think of being that way himself.

But, he realized, the past couple of days, if the bartender, and oh god, Kakashi, were any witnesses, he also had had that look in his eyes. And it had been inspired by the very blond who was busily getting molested right now.

_"__Mmmmmmmm.__"_

Oh for the love of... Alright, he was going to have to think about this more, later, when said blond was no longer moaning in his ears. Sasuke felt himself begin to blush, and wished that his lack of self-awareness could've lasted him just a little tiny bit longer. Say, just until they had finished this mission. Or at least this day. Because now that he was aware that he was attracted to the blond, the thought of him with another person was…annoying. Alright, it had been annoying before, too, but this time he knew that he wasn't misdirecting that annoyance. And Naruto had better be greatly exaggerating those moans, dammit, 'cause no one was _that_ good a kisser.

Oh god, maybe they were doing more than kissing. He wasn't sure who he was going to kill first: Naruto, the target, or himself.

_"__Maybe we could take this a somewhere a __little__ more__…__private?__"_

Damn husky voice.

_"__My room__'__s not too far__…"_

Asshole.

Then the sound of footsteps.

Next to him, Kakashi looked up. "Excellent. He seems to be getting exactly where we need to go."

Idiot, Sasuke wanted to hiss. His best friend was being led off by a lecherous enemy ninja who planned on doing god only knows what sort of awful things to him. Excellent was not the first word that sprang to his mind.

"He's no damsel in distress, Sasuke." Sometimes, Sasuke really hated the way Kakashi seemed to be able to read his mind. "Besides, once he gets back into his room, we can infiltrate and go through with the rest of the plan."

Although someone who didn't know him would never have seen it, Sasuke definitely gave the barest of eye rolls. With admirable restraint—why was Kakashi telling him things he already knew, anyways? He wasn't some twelve-year old genin anymore—Sasuke grunted in acknowledgement and got to his feet. The sooner Naruto got them into the room, the sooner they could end this whole ridiculous mission.

And then he could sort some things of his own out with the blond.

* * *

**A/N:** Ok, just one more chapter to go! Thanks for reading. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** I have no legal rights to any of the Naruto characters or settings. Just for fun, no profit involved. Sadly...

**Warnings:** Yes, this is **shounen-ai** meaning **boyxboy love** of the **SasuNaru** variety.

**Rating: T** for language, slight violence, and non-graphic adult situations. If you think I should up it, please let me know.

**A/N:** First, sorry for the delay. This was a tough chapter to write for some reason. Anyhow, yes, this last chapter is a bit shorter than the others, but it seemed like a good place to end things. Ok, I hope it turned out all right—comments and such would be especially appreciated!

* * *

**Gentlement Prefer Blonds**

**Chapter Five**

_Hurry up! Which one is it?_

With a start, Sasuke realized that the target and Naruto must have gotten almost to the place the target was currently staying. Kakashi was just ahead of him, jumping stealthily through the trees. It was lucky the park was relatively small, and apparently quite, quite near to the enemy nin's place. Sasuke was beginning to suspect the other man had suggested it with that thought in mind. Sneaky horny bastard.

_Is it that hotel? I love hotels…They always seem so…illicit._

_Sorry, it's an apartment. That one there._

_Oh, with the red door? Grande Heights? Oooo, do we get to take the elevator? I like elevators almost as much as I like hotels…_

Then there was a long pause, and Sasuke decided that he liked the pauses much less than he liked the conversation, even if Naruto's come-ons were sort of corny. Where had he learned the word 'illicit' anyways? Mentally, he chalked another one up to Jiraiya.

_Number 369, huh?_

Even though the chuckle following that statement wasn't for him, he still felt a tingle sweep up his spine. He wondered how much better it would be if it weren't distorted over the microphone. Then he shook his head. Okay, enough. He would take care of that business later—and take care of it, he would. But now was not the time to think about it, because they had all the information they needed and a door had just slammed quite distinctly over the microphone. And unless he was very much mistaken it had been followed by the muted _snick_ of a lock sliding into place.

"Ready?" He whispered to Kakashi, as they rounded a corner and came into view of a large apartment complex with a red door. Together they scaled the wall, stopping at the third level. 

Sasuke was grateful that there weren't many people around to see them. Even with the daylight slowly fading, they weren't exactly inconspicuous.

The two ninja went in opposite directions, peering into all the windows they passed. It would've helped if they'd known what side the apartment faced on, but it sounded like Naruto hadn't even gotten a chance to look out the window before the other man pounced him. Now there were rustling sounds coming over the microphone that sounded suspiciously like bed sheets and clothes.

_Hey, slow down there, tiger. I want this to last._

Ah, there it was. Finally. Sasuke switched on his mike and called Kakashi over. The dirty bastard of a target hadn't even thought to close the drapes, a rather alarming red and yellow polka dot pattern.

Naruto was currently seated on the edge of the bed, neatly straddled by the shirtless target. He seemed to be clutching at the hands of the other man, stopping them from removing his own shirt. That, of course, might've exposed the wires he was currently wearing. The target was clearly beginning to get impatient, and he managed to remove one of his hands from Naruto's and place it flat against the blond ninja's chest, in preparation to push him backwards.

At least, that was what he was about to do, when he caught sight of a movement out of the corner of his eye.

"Shit!" the man exclaimed. Sasuke couldn't blame him really. It probably was slightly unusual to have a semi-random stranger climb through your window when you were in the middle of attempted seduction. Especially when said window was on the third floor of a large apartment building. "I told you your friend was a jealous asshole!"

What? When had he said that? What other interesting tidbits of conversation had Sasuke missed out on?

"Actually," and now Naruto was once again wearing that dangerous, feral grin, that Sasuke was just beginning to realize made his blood burn in a way that was not, despite what he used to think, anger, or irritation, or frustration. "I'm afraid I may have misled you just a little." With one swift movement, he knocked off the hand that was still pushing against his chest, and tackled the grass nin to the floor. He landed softly on his chest, using his knees to pin his arms, and leaned his face close.

"See, thing is, we actually need a scroll," he began conversationally. "This would be the scroll that you took from the Inuzuka compound."

"Not quite three days ago," Sasuke added helpfully, as he pulled out some rope and began binding the grass nin's feet together. The poor man seemed too shocked to struggle, and he was still sporting proof of his little make out session with Naruto. Either the blond was an exceptionally good kisser or the target had a secret bondage fetish.

"You know, when you were in Konoha," Kakashi decided to chime in, nonchalantly pulling out one of his kunai as he stood above the target and using it to pick his teeth.

Looking at the three faces now leaning over him, as Sasuke had finished with his feet and was now working on his hands, sitting him up in order to tie them, properly, behind his back, the grass nin's shoulders slumped.

"Well, hell," he muttered. "I'm gonna guess your name's not really Shinji."

"That's right!" the blond beamed down at him, before Sasuke elbowed him aside. Naruto seemed to have a need to tell his name to everyone he met, and he didn't really think this was the most appropriate time.

"Now," the Uchiha said, "we can do this the easy way, or the hard way."

The Grass nin paled.

"That's not a very nice area to point your kunai at, Sasuke," Kakashi observed, looking up from his porn.

The Uchiha smirked, and moved the kunai just a little closer. He might've had a bondage fetish, but it looked like the grass nin wasn't into hardcore S&M. He had to move forward to keep the same distance between his blade and the shrinking pride and joy of the target.

The target chose the easy way.

* * *

They were training again. It was, after all, what they did. Sasuke had been a bit, well, cranky was probably the only word for it, when they'd first arrived at the training grounds. He'd had a little trouble sleeping the night before. Every time he closed his eyes, he kept seeing an image of of Naruto and the damned Grass nin in the position they'd been in right before he and Kakashi had entered the room. He really wished that Tsunade had let him kill the slimy bastard.

The scroll and thief had both been presented to the Hokage, who had seemed entirely too amused by the story of his capture. Naruto had spluttered and pointed fingers and called her a hag, but she had just calmly pulled a box out from under her drawer. Sasuke had been unable to see what was in it, but by the red of his teammate's face, and the lecherous glint in the Hokage's golden eyes, he thought he could probably make a pretty good guess.

"Just in case," she'd said, winking. "For future…missions…"

Naruto had spluttered and pointed fingers again, before stalking out of the office with as much dignity as he could muster. Sasuke noticed that he kept the box though.

He hadn't seen the blond again that evening. It was quite late by then, and judging by Naruto's 

air of offended injury as he left the Hokage office, no one would be seeing him before training the next morning. Which was just as well, really, because Sasuke wanted time to figure a few things out before he made his next move.

It was that damned genius shinobi thing again. He refused to go into any situation unprepared, and, although he was willing to improvise if necessary, it was best to have a basic plan of attack. So he considered, carefully, which would be the other thing that had contributed to his sleep deprivation and concurrant crankiness when he'd first shown up at training.

Altogether, though, he was satisfied with his thoughts. Although Naruto hadn't given any signs of being particularly attracted to men previously, the fact that he had been willing to go along with the seduction mission seemed to indicate that he was at least open-minded in that direction. Besides, as the bartender had said, he did have best-friend advantage. Now he would just have to wait for his opening, and seize his opportunity.

He ignored the perverted part of his mind that wanted to make bad jokes about "openings"and "opportunities"and "seizing."

So he had been a little bit tired when he got to training that morning. After starting, though, he was pleasantly surprised to find that now that he had acknowledged his attraction to Naruto, it added a whole new level of excitement to spars with the blond. There was the usual rush of adrenalin, but it was mixed with an excitement low in his stomach. He could feel every touch ring along his nerve endings, and he was acutely aware of the other's body.

Yes, the spar had been an entirely interesting experience, although Kakashi kept interrupting to encourage them to do various training exercises. He didn't need anymore damned shuriken practice or tips on traps. Although the sight of Naruto tripping yet another rope trap, ending up dangling, helplessly bound, was opening his eyes to heretofore completely unconsidered realms. His libido, after years of being virtually neglected, was apparently making up for lost time. But the sparring, the flesh on flesh contact, was definitely his favorite. Luckily, it was easy to provoke Naruto into attacking him.

It was after one final such impromptu spar that they decided to break. The two of them were lying on the grass, panting lightly, and Kakashi was sitting under a tree reading his porn when Neji approached.

Sasuke immediately scowled. Stupid Hyuuga was a jounin already, shouldn't he be out doing dangerous missions? Preferably missions that put him in the direct line of lots and lots of unavoidable, dull kunai. He resisted the urge to shift slightly nearer to his sparring partner, settling for poking him and then sitting up himself instead.

"Eh?" said Naruto, opening his eyes. He had been just on the point of drifting to sleep, the sun warm on his face and the grass soft beneath his head, when Sasuke prodded him none-too-gently in the upper arm.

"Get up, moron."

Naruto gave the obligatory frown. "Don't call me moron, bastard!"

"Fine. Idiot." Inwardly, he wanted to smirk at the irate face of his teammate, but he managed to control himself. He didn't actually want to start another spar. Yet.

"Eh, Neji! What're you doing here?" Apparently Naruto had just noticed Neji. Sasuke let his lip twitch slightly as he looked at the Hyuuga. Take that, bastard, he thought, didn't even notice you. If the thought was accompanied by a feeling of smugness, Sasuke felt that it was his right as an Uchiha. What were the Hyuugas but a chance genetic spin-off anyhow?

"Hello, Naruto," a pause, as calculating eyes turned to Sasuke. He and the Hyuuga had never really gotten along. A week ago he would've said that it was leftover tension from the retrieve-Sasuke mission that Neji had been a part of when they were all genin. Now he wasn't so sure.

"Uchiha." A nod.

"Hyuuga." A nod.

A light breeze rippled through the clearing, playing with strands of long Hyuuga hair. Pale eyes stared into dark ones for an infinitely long moment, assessing. The branch-house member had always been amazingly perceptive, and Sasuke had the feeling that even his impervious mask was being seen through. The moment ended.

"I see," said Neji, turning away. "Naruto, you coming?" he asked.

"See what?" asked Naruto. "What was that all about?"

"Nothing. Now are you coming or not?"

"Hmm. Kakashi, can we break for lunch now?"

At his sort-of instructor's nod, Naruto scrambled to his feet. "Yeah, yeah I'm coming." As the two left the clearing, Sasuke could clearly hear the voice of his teammate begging Neji to tell him what was going on. Sasuke frowned. It seemed that Naruto had the Hyuuga trained to come and pick him up for lunch these days.

"You might as well go get some lunch, too, Sasuke." Kakashi's voice broke into his thoughts. Sasuke stood up quietly. Oh good, and he had just been thinking how hungry he was for ramen.

He caught up with the other two ninja as they were about to enter Ichiraku's. Neji, he noted, did not look exactly thrilled to see him, though neither did he look entirely surprised.

"Hyuuga." A nod.

"Uchiha." A nod.

"Jeez, what is with you guys?" Naruto exclaimed, parting the curtains and sitting on a stool. "One miso ramen, old man!" He shouted cheerfully to the proprietor.

Neji and Sasuke carefully situated themselves on either side of the blond now salivating with his eyes firmly fixed on the ramen chef.

The atmosphere over ramen was somewhat strained, and conversation definitely limited, although the blond was probably the only one who didn't realize it. If there was ramen in front of him, Naruto, not usually the most focused of ninja, was able to concentrate remarkably well.

Sasuke didn't bother with small talk. He never did. Neji, usually so well-bred, offered up one or two mild comments, and after that left Sasuke alone. He did talk a little with Naruto, but the silent presence of Sasuke seemed to be making him somewhat uncomfortable, if the tense set to his shoulders was any indication. Sasuke smirked and quietly ate his ramen.

* * *

"Haha! You should have seen his face when Sasuke pointed his kunai at him. I still can't believe you nearly castrated him!" Naruto said again, turning from Neji to Sasuke as they exited the ramen shop. He shivered dramatically, his hand protectively cupped in front of the Uzumaki family jewels. Neji had brought up the subject of their last mission right before they parted, and Naruto, while glossing over his own role in the capture, had been more than happy to describe Sasuke's below-the-belt tactics.

Neji had simply raised a slender eyebrow and congratulated them on their success. Then he had left, pausing only long enough to give Sasuke one long, measuring look.

Naruto had continued the discussion as the two old friends slowly made their way back to the training grounds, clearly finding the situation funny. He was currently stopped, sitting on the bridge near the team 7 practice area and claiming he needed a little more time for his ramen to digest before they went back to training.

"Hn, like I'd have slipped," Sasuke said.

"Still, man. That is a no-go area, if you know what I mean."

Well, that sounded like an opportunity if he'd ever heard one. "No, Naruto, I don't think I do."

He could see the blond shiver. It was very rare for Sasuke to call him by his name. And he'd absolutely never done it before in that low, husky tone.

"Sasuke?" Naruto said, the uncertainty clear in his voice. Sasuke moved closer, and blue eyes looked up, the owner of the eyes visibly startled to see him so near. He was standing right in front of him. Actually, right between his legs, since the blond was sitting on the (repaired, thank god that hadn't been _their_ mission. Tsunade must not have found out who broke it) railing of the bridge.

Calmly, he braced his hands on either side of the blonds' hips, and leaned forward.

"Sasuke, what're you…"

"He was right about one thing, though" Sasuke's voice was low and dark again, and he was standing close enough that he could feel the heat radiating off the ninja in front of him.

"Wha--? Who?" Naruto appeared to be having trouble following the thread of the conversation.

"The Grass nin," Sasuke whispered, moving just a little, tiny bit closer, until their lips were separated by the barest centimeter. He paused there, waiting for Naruto to move back, or more likely, yell or punch him—both things he tended to do when Sasuke confused him.

"The Grass nin?" and he could feel the warm breath, the shift in the air as Naruto's lips opened and closed so near to his own.

"I am a jealous asshole," and he moved forward that last tiny, infinitesimal, infinite distance and covered Naruto's lips with his own.

* * *

The End


End file.
